OMG SHE TOTALLY WAS
Eating at Five Guys for the first time. MICHELLE OBAMA BETTER BE RIGHT ABOUT THIS
Watching Maury “Not the Father” clips on YouTube makes me sympathize with Republicans.
Can’t get enough of the cajun sounds of Pusswhip Banggang http://tinyurl.com/c2bcxp
My new sneakers have become a blog sensation! http://tinyurl.com/d869rv
Let’s all take a moment to remember about how shitty the song “Original Prankster” by the Offspring is. http://bit.ly/5h5O8 #followfriday
Can you be too lazy to play videogames? I think I’m too lazy to play videogames.
This tweet is about Cosby Show porn. COSBY SHOW PORN!!!!!! http://bit.ly/gBMA (SFW)
Just saw a thugish guy wearing a “dork” tshirt. I was wearing a Super Mario hoodie. Psh. Amateur.
Just added myself to the http://wefollow.com twitter directory under: #copywriter #comedian #geek
I think my body gave me a stuffy nose to prepare me for Bailey’s dog farts.
BUT HOW CAN YOU GET MAD AT THAT FACE? http://twitpic.com/2eyv7
Just clap your hands. http://twitpic.com/2eape
Last tweet in San Francisco. BOULDER TIME YALL
I’m excited to go back to Eastern time. Pacific time makes me feel lazy.
I may be liberal as fuck, but it still pisses me off when I see transexuals that can grow better facial hair than I can.
Just read that a dieting rule-of-thumb is to not eat portions bigger than your fist. Thank God I can still eat human hearts!
SPAGHETTI JIMMY WINS
Trying a salt water gargle to cure my sore throat; will report back with results.
FUCK YOU KNEES IM GOING BIKING
Eating something with my shirt off makes me feel like a slut.
I get waaaaaaaay too offended if someone doesn’t add me back.
MMS ON THE IPHONE! THANK YOU WHITE HIPSTER JESUS
Turkey burgers are useless with bacon, cheese and french fries. Oh well.
The Tenderloin is the part of the city that never sleeps, but is never really awake.
You need to watch the Forbidden Zone.
I did this with my MagSafe adapter and I suggest you do it too. http://twitpic.com/22fal
Happy Pi Day YOU NERDS
SWISS MISS PACKETS DON’T WORK IN COLD MILK ANTHONY WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER????????
In Boulder I will battle Alex Bogusky on the top of a mountain
#Apple ‘s new #iPod shuffle is the Helen Keller of MP3 players.
This is the best thing I’ve heard today http://www.amazon.com/gp/mpd/permalink/m386YV2CNSD51Y (Flaming Lips covering Madonna)
Listening to new Trail of Dead GETTING ME SO FUCKING PUMPED UP YEAHHHHHHHH
Hearing this song makes me smile and think fondly about cold winters in East Lansing http://tinyurl.com/6oe7qq
The awesome opening title sequence to #Watchmen, in case you wanna see it again. Did you guys like the movie? http://tinyurl.com/abdur7
Rocko’s Modern Life and Doug are on DVD? WHY DIDN’T ANYBODY FUCKING TELL ME
Roger Hautchel reunion!!!!
Tonight I saw my first real-life movie pirater! It was weird.
Am I too drunk for #Watchmen tonight? HELL NAWWWWWWW
Only seven more hours till I get some BIG BLUE COCK IN MY FACE!!!!! #watchmen
This Flaming Lips/Arcade Fire beef is getting SO INTENSE
Gothiest. Whole Foods. Cashier. Ever.
DAMMIT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MY 666th TWEET!
THIS THE TWEET #666. THE TWEET OF THE BEAST
THIS BUS SMELLS LIKE TINKLE :( :( :( :( :(
Ooo I’m so close to 666 tweets!
Whatchamacallits have an evil twin! http://twitpic.com/1t8li
New kicks! I bought these because they look like Mega Man’s bowling shoes. http://twitpic.com/1sl7j